When Cassadines Fall ~ The Detour

“You already make the phone calls?” Ricky asks from the front passenger seat of the van. “All we would need is to have the cops called out again on those two.”

“Called Luke and Laura.” Maddy winces at the last name. It’s always interesting talking to Nik’s mother. Probably a very nice woman– now. But just as clueless about her kids’ lives as she was before the accident. “Luke is fine with it. Jerry is out of town so I talked to Bobbie.”

“Cookie wants Rita home in time for dinner. I told Carly the munchkin has a blank check from the Old Man to get the bus and she let her off from riding today. Carly loves blank checks.”

“No kidding.” Maddy rolls her eyes. Then she looks over at Ricky. “So we going to talk about it before Rita gets in the van?”

“Talk about what?”

“Oh whether or not you have all your shots? Were you DRUNK?! Victoria Porter? The Judge’s DAUGHTER?! Are you CRAZY?!”

“Vicki and I understand each other.” Ricky now understands why Mir was left at the house. It isn’t because the van is going to be crowded but instead because Maddy is going into total lecture mode.

“Oh no you don’t. You may think you do but you don’t. She’s bait on a hook. She went after AJ, then Nikolas. She wants a rich man who will turn her into Amanda Barrington. And nasty! The crap she’s pulled on Rita. I just know about the stuff she pulled during the kidnapping. You’d have to talk to Carly or Em about the rest of it. She’ll take one look at you and figure she can climb on the Robideau gravy train. She’s probably already gone to the judge about how you seduced her or something. NO wait... she’ll wait a couple of months and turn up PREGNANT. Then she’ll go to her father.”

“Feeling the love, Maddy. Didn’t know you cared.” Ricky shrugs. “You know my father. You never met my mother. Believe me when I say– I know how to handle Victoria Porter. I know what she wants. And it isn’t me. And there is a little mutual assured destruction involved. Because I can blow her out of the water any time I like.”

“Do not mention Vicki and blow in the same sentence please or I may hurl and then have to scrub my brain with bleach.” Maddy warns. “And what do you mean you can blow her out of the water any time you like?”

“You’ve already gotten one favor out of me, that really should have come from the old man. Don’t think you’re going to get another one, Maddy. You aren’t going to tell anyone about this because you don’t want it to go nuclear all over town.”

“So convince me that it’s not. Convince me how you and the Judge’s daughter is a good thing.”

“She was sitting with Alexander Lewis down at the Tappa Kegga Bud.”

“The ruffie guy?”

Ricky nods. “She isn’t going to say a word. The judge would have her off to either a mental ward or a convent before she could get a word in edgewise. That’s the first thing. The second thing-- Vicki is looking for social register. And hooking up with a southern gangster’s son isn’t moving in the circles she’s looking for– and letting it out that she ever did the Southern Gangster’s son would get her barred permanently from her long time goal.”

“Oh but Alexander Lewis is?!”

“Actually yes, his family is very socially connected down in Miami. Polo club memberships and all that crap. Don’t worry. She’s just using me for sex.”

“Oh poor baby. Tell her to buy a vibrator.”

“Jealous? Cause you know there is more than enough to go around. And I wouldn’t tell Cassadine either.”

“Don’t even joke about it.” Maddy warns. “And if you think I’m kidding, ask Lucky where the guys who kidnapped Emily are. Here come the kids.”

Ricky steps out of the van and keeps an eye out for Lucas and Lulu. This is just the first stop. Get them and then off to Queen of Angels. When he spies Lucas he isn’t surprised that Lulu is right there with him. He whistles to get Lucas’ attention and then waves him over.

Lulu is actually the first one back in the van. She climbs in the sliding door on the side and then goes up to the drivers seat to give Maddy a quick hug and kiss on the cheek. “Where’s Mir? I want Lucas to meet Mir.”

Lucas is on board and Ricky is taking his seat at shotgun. When Maddy answers. “I’ve got Ricky with me so I don’t need Mir. Nikolas took him home in the jag after lunch. Besides we’re going to buy a bus for Queen of Angels. And I know you two were both in this up to your little pointy ears with Rita.”

“We picking up Rita next?” Lucas asks.

“Yep. Just as soon as you guys are buckled in. There are snacks and things in the little fridge if you need anything.” Maddy tells Lucas and Lulu both.

“We’re kewl.” Lucas makes sure his little cousin is strapped in and gives Maddy a thumbs up.

Jason is waiting at the grocery store when Li’s bus drops her off. Taking control of the cart he trails after her as she searches the aisles for what she wants for next few days’ cooking. Because Jason is here she also decides to stock up on some staples that would be difficult to get home on the bus.

“I had a meeting with Jerry.”

Li knows that Jason would never have made the comment if the conversation hadn’t been about her. “Are my parents okay?”

“It wasn’t about that.”

“What about then?” Li holds up one of the pineapples and smells it and then presses it carefully. Deciding its okay she puts it in the cart and goes on the oranges. It is good that Michael likes oranges, it would keep him healthy until the warm weather comes again.

“Jerry says getting married to the right guy would fix all of this. Clean slate. Your parents would be happy.”

“Not going to happen.” Li moves on to the vegetables. “Right guy not want me.”

“Okay I know I’m not the right guy. I’m not Chinese. I’m not the oldest son or anything. But I am rich and Catholic which will probably score points with your parents.”

“You marry good girl. Someone not ... damaged. Someone you be proud to take to your elders.”

“Wait just a second.” Jason grabs Li and turns her around so she is looking at him. “You’re not the one who is damaged. I am. You know that. And I have already introduced you to my grandmother and she likes you just fine.”

“You are being too kind. You have done enough. I am already in your debt.”

“I’m not hearing you say no.”

“Do you want to marry me?” Li asks.

“Yeah, I do.”

Li looks at him and shakes her head no even as she is saying. “Then I will say yes.”

“Good. It’s settled. We’re getting married on Saturday. Your parents will be told it’s a belated New Years Party since they were out of town for Chinese New Year. And we’ll tell them then after it’s settled. Call Carly if you need help finding a dress.” As far as Jason’s concerned the matter is settled and it’s time to move on to the next thing.

Once Lulu had told her that Rita was looking into the bus thing and would be roping Lucas into it; Maddy had started a folder with price lists and features and all the things that the Queen of Angels would need in a bus to last them the next twenty years. Course before Edward had become in involved it was all about how to get things done on the cheap.

“I know this is a blank check but I really don’t know what my ballpark is on this.” Maddy tells Ricky out of the corner of her mouth. She glances back in the rear view mirror. Not just Rita but also Mei are now on board and they are on their way to the dealership that would take their order for a bus.

Ricky pulls out his cell phone and dials Edward’s private line. “So are the cherries blossoming yet?”

“No.” Edward replies.

“What are you doing?”

“Waiting for Hilary Clinton– freshman carpetbagger senator from New York. Didn’t vote for her husband, and I sure as hell won’t be voting for her. She doesn’t get the lead out and not only will I not vote for her-- but whoever her competition is will have a war chest that could take over a small third world country.”

“Speaking of war chests...” Ricky glances over at Maddy. “Maddy wants to know how blank this check is– are we talking new bus with a warranty, older bus that is well preserved, a really tricked out ride for the munchkin.”

“Well...” Edward starts hmming and hawing.

“And while you’re thinking about that I just want to you to consider- - Not just what Jesus would do but what Emily would do... considering you’re buying the bus for the kids and for her church.” Ricky adds piously.

And that’s the stake in Edward’s cash register heart. “It’s a blank check.” Then he adds in a rush to preserve his hardass image. “But keep all the receipts. I might at least get a tax deduction from this.”

Ricky hangs up the phone. “He wants you to keep the receipts.”

Carly stalks down the stairs, or as close to a stalk as a woman as pregnant as she is can. Emily is close on her heels but does nothing to stop Carly when she picks up a vase and chucks it at Jason’s head.

“What the hell?!” Jason ducks and catches the vase putting it back on the table behind the couch. “What is your problem?”

“Between the tomatoes and the Brussels sprouts! You proposed in a GROCERY STORE! What kind of block head are you! Do I have to tell you everything?! Nice dinner, great bottle of wine, HUGE rock and you on bended knee. That is a proposal! Gees Jason! A Grocery STORE! What is Li supposed to tell your kids? Daddy has all the romance of a TURNIP! Actually then a grocery store would make SENSE!”

“At least the bakery department, Jase.” Emily chimes in. “I could have supported you if it would have been the bakery and you were looking at wedding cakes. Something. But the Veggies?! That’s just wrong.”

“I am so glad that the two of you have such a keen sense of doing this right. The wedding is on Saturday. Jerry says there has to be something called a wedding banquet where everyone in town is invited as a way to show Li’s folks that she’s married well. You two can be in charge of that.”

“Jason, that isn’t reasonable. It took six months to get the Judge and Cookie’s wedding together. There were fittings and stuff to pick out.” Carly protests.

“Saturday the 24th. One month to the day after Chinese New Year. The cover story for getting her parents to the party is that it’s a New Year’s party. If you guys aren’t up to it, I can do it myself.”

“NO!” Emily and Carly counter before Jason is even finished saying myself. “We’ll do it. We’ll take care of everything. All you have to do is get your tux to the dry cleaners and get the rings– and a best man.”

The kids are set loose on the lot but Rita stays close to Ricky and Maddy and the salesman. Ricky strings an arm around Rita’s shoulders and bring her in close so that she can hear everything. The salesman pitches to Ricky– going for the man to man connection. Rita looks up at Maddy and rolls her eyes.

Lucas and Lulu run up to the group. Mei had kind of been keeping an eye on the two of them because Lucas can’t be trusted to keep Lulu out of trouble. Maddy asks Lulu. “What do you think, Baby?”

“They’re ugly.” Lulu says softly.

“Yes, they are.” Maddy agrees with a nod. “So that’s why we’re going to focus on what we need them to do rather than what they look like.” She looks at the sales man. “We want a 24 seater, diesel, duallies in the back for stability, handicap lift.”

“Maddy!” Lucas protests that one.

“For hauling gear into the bus without having to haul gear.”

“Oh. Kewl!” He looks at the salesman. “Handicap access. And there should be a drop down TV screen in front.” Lucas looks at Ricky. “To play game tapes right on the away games?”

Ricky snorts at that. “Right.”

“Maybe it wouldn’t be so ugly if it was candy apple red like my daddy’s car.” Lulu suggests.

“No way,” Rita counters. “Red cars get more tickets. My daddy says so and he would know since he’s a judge.”

“No red.” Ricky agrees with the judge. “The bus is going to be for Queen of Angels so it should be in their school colors.”

“Lets just get the bus and then worry about the paint.” Maddy pleads. It really would have been faster to do it herself. But it had been Rita’s idea. “Do you have the bones for the way they want it tricked out?” Maddy demands.

“Sure, little lady. Don’t worry about a thing.” The Salesman winks at her.

I am going to kill this guy. I should have brought Mir. Maddy covers her opinion of the salesman with a honey smooth drawl. “You’re awful cute and all that, but let me tell you right now that we’re on a tight time frame and we’re going to have everything settled by 5pm or we’re gone.” Maddy warns the salesman. But she can see that he doesn’t believe her.

Emily sorts thru the DVDs at Johnny’s apartment. “I know it’s in here somewhere. I brought all my DVD, CDs and books when I moved out of the mansion. Johnny had to put in an extra media case just for my stuff.”

“I really don’t know how a movie is going to help us.” Carly protests. “What you need to be doing is getting on the phone to Gary Winslow and finding out if he can get a dress together for Li. There is no way we’re going to be able to get anything off the rack. And with Li keeping a low profile until after the wedding there is no way we can get Maddy’s seamstress to help fix something off the rack since she’s one of the folks that Li is keeping distance from! Jason is being totally unreasonable.”

“What else is new?” Em replies. “You know he doesn’t have patience for this kind of thing. Just give him the bills and we’ll all be happy.” Em holds a DVD over her head triumphantly. “I found it!”

“The Wedding Banquet? Is it a How To?”

“That’s what we’re going to be using it for.” Emily opens up the case and thumbing thru the scene index goes straight to the wedding banquet part of the movie and hits play.

“My Gawd, Jason, what have you done?!” Carly’s eyes go wide.

Emily starts looking at the movie from the standpoint of making it happen rather than just enjoying the movie and shakes her head. “We need help. Lots and lots of help.”

“He said everybody: church, Li’s school, all of Li’s family around here, his family, his business associates– everybody.” Carly’s voice is hushed in horror.

“Right. Everybody has to come because everyone has to see that Li is an honored member of the family.”

“Okay job one for you– convince Monica to not mess this up. She messes this up for Jason and I will show her daughter in law from hell.” Carly threatens.

Johnny comes into the apartment. He has a little break coming between the lunch and dinner rushes and one of his waitresses had let him know that Emily is there and upstairs. “Em? I thought you had a full day at Deception.” Johnny calls out before he even sees Em.

“Oh good the Calvary!” Emily jumps up from the floor by the DVD player. “Help!”

“What’s going on?”

“Jason is marrying Li on Saturday. This Saturday and he wants THAT as the wedding reception. And Emily and I are supposed to put it together!” Carly explains. It takes both hands and an umph to get off of the living room couch. “This Saturday.”

Johnny looks at what is on the screen and winces. “I can help you with the cake, if I start now. But you need a pro. You’re going to have to fly someone in and then have them work in someone else’s kitchen. Have a good time, ladies.”

Em grabs him before he can retreat back to his own kitchen. “You said fly someone in. Fly in whom? From where? Come on, Johnny, point us in the right direction.”

Johnny shakes his head and then winces. “Carly, you might want to get Jerry in on this. There isn’t a Chinese restaurant in town that is up to this. You’re talking... New York City, Toronto, San Francisco. He’d probably be able to give you names of restaurants. Jason said THIS Saturday? Five days from now?”

“Yeah.” Em says grimly. “And it’s suppose to be big.”

“Banquet room at the Port Charles Hotel. Going to have to rent the tables, they aren’t going to have the right kind. Rooms reserved for all the guests since if the banquet is anything like this movie they are going to be staying over.” Johnny thinks aloud. “The food is going to be a problem. It isn’t just fresh fish... it’s alive.”

“Where’s your bathroom?” Carly puts a hand over her mouth and quickly moves to the bathroom as Johnny and Em point and get out of her way.

“I think we’re going to be in charge of the food.” Emily sighs. “It isn’t going to be alive at the table right?”

“Probably not.” Johnny looks down at his watch. He has to get back downstairs. “I’m sorry I can’t help more.”

Em gives him a kiss. “I know you’ll be saving my bacon about a million times between now and the banquet. I know it’s short time frame but I think that Carly and I just need to brainstorm everything we need to do and then just take it apart– day by day.”

“I didn’t want to say it in front of Carly... but this might be something you pull Jax in on. Pilot, into food, has his own plane– Either him or Jerry. And you might need Jerry around here to deal with Li’s folks. You have to figure when you and I get married if we sprang it on Alan and Monica the day of the wedding– neither of us would be alive for a wedding night.”

Emily grins at Johnny. “That is so sweet and you’re going to go back downstairs and think about what you just said and be kicking yourself.” She gives Johnny another kiss. “White cake with red and gold frosting or trim or something. I’d say chocolate but it’s for Jason and Li.”

“I’ll be thinking about it.” Johnny runs a hand down Em’s arm and then sighs. He leaves without saying anything else.

After Johnny is gone, Carly comes out of the bedroom. “Think about what– the fact that the man just proposed or what the cake is going to look like?!”

“Were you listening at the door?”

“Of course.”

Rita looks at her watch and then standing up puts on her coat.

“Is it five o’clock?” Maddy asks. The only reason she had waited so long is because she’d said from the start that this would be settled by five. She’d gotten a bad feeling within five minutes of being with the salesman in the office and had been ready to leave over an hour ago.

“Two minutes til.” Rita replies. She’s an old pro at the negotiation since she’d been there when Carly had purchased Mr. Roberts with one of Mr. Quartermaine’s blank checks. Carly had said then you weren’t supposed to let them see you wanted whatever it was- -cause then they’d jack the price sky high. They’d both blown it all to hell when they saw Mr. Roberts and wanted that Morgan Gelding with every fiber of their being. But Cookie and Johnny didn’t play either when it came to buying stuff for the restaurant. They didn’t let some nimrod set the terms.

And the salesman has been ticking her off. Daddy would have thrown him in jail for contempt over an hour ago ‘cause the salesman liked to hear himself talk. It was like if he didn’t let Ricky or Maddy get a word in edgewise then they’d just go along with him. Rita looks at Ricky. “If Daddy were here this would have been over an hour ago and we would already be playing basketball over at the B&G club. And if that man would have been in Daddy’s court...”

“He’d be in jail.” Ricky sighs. “Sorry, munchkin. I know I’ve let you down.”

“He isn’t being honest.” Rita continues. “Its not like he’s the only guy who sells stupid buses. I’ve been looking for weeks and I could get one on Ebay like that.” Rita snaps her fingers. “And if Mr. Q wants to buy a new one then he could call Detroit or something and they’d tell him how much one really costs rather than this bullshit. Does this guy really think Maddy is going to give him more money because he keeps staring at her boobs? Idiot.” Rita snarls.

“Get the other kids ready.” Maddy hands Rita the keys to the van. “We’ll be out in two minutes.”

Rita leaves to get the other kids who are in a nearby office keeping Lulu entertained. Ricky looks at Maddy. “Not that the munchkin doesn’t have a point but did it just feel like Cookie was in the room?”

“I don’t spend any time with Johnny’s mother. She’s too scary for me.” Maddy counters. She stands up and grabs her coat and purse. Ricky helps her on with her coat and then puts on his own.

They are already out the office door when the salesman comes running after them. “Wait! Where are you going? I’ve really been going to bat for you in there.”

“The children are hungry. We told you five o’clock. We’re leaving.” Maddy doesn’t even look at the guy but keeps walking.

“Let me take you out to dinner. We’ll work thru the details.” The salesman pleads realizing that he may have just blown a six figure deal.

“You have my fax number.” Maddy says shortly. “Put together your best offer and we’ll either take it or leave it. You’ve wasted enough of my time.”

When AJ arrives home to the Happy Family house he understand why Carly had called him and told him to bring home dinner from Eli’s. The kitchen table is covered with print outs, books and fabric samples. “Hi honey, I’m home. What the hell is going on?”

“Jason is getting married on Saturday. And if he’s left in charge of it he’ll probably have Li walking down the Frozen Food aisle.”

“Excuse me?” AJ looks over at his sister.

“Jason proposed to Li in the grocery store and when Carly called him on it basically told her if she could do so much better then she’s in charge of the wedding banquet. And Johnny said he’d do the cake but there is no way he can do a traditional Chinese style Wedding banquet... that it’s really specialized if they’re going to put on something that will impress Li’s parents. So we printed off this list of everything you have to do for any wedding... you know the kind that takes six months to a year to plan and we’re going to split it into five days.” Emily proves she really shouldn’t have had that last latte before coming back to the house.

“Oh. Well I picked up coleslaw too.” AJ puts the kitchen counter between him and the crazy women. “Is it too late to suggest that West Virginia is lovely this time of year and we kinda have a family tradition of eloping going?” Carly looks at AJ with a death glare. “Yeah, way too late. So... what can I do to help?”

“Put together the Quartermaine/ELQ guest list. All the big wigs have to be there. The board for ELQ, for GH. Oh Gawd for Barrington Industries. Everyone that is anyone has to be there.” Carly tells him. “And we need the Port Charles Hotel... rooms for all the guests and a banquet hall for...” Carly gulps. “...for 250 at least.”

“And we don’t even have a chef yet.” Emily groans.

“Honey, call Jerry now.” AJ suggest. “He’s out of town with Edward with the ELQ jet. If anyone can find you a Chinese Chef... it will be Jerry. You can even threaten him and tell him to not come back without one.”

“Mama would kill me if he actually took me up on it.” Carly is already reaching for her phone. “But I get the feeling that Jerry isn’t going to be surprised by the call. I mean come on. I know I’m losing my mind here but when was the last time Jason volunteered for a party.”

While Carly is on the phone to her stepfather, AJ asks his sister. “Why haven’t you called Maddy in on this?”

“We have. She’s tied up with another project she can’t get out of but she said she’d be over later– after she makes the evening round of the kiosks.” Emily looks at Carly who is just finishing up with Jerry. “We should probably go over to Maddy’s. I have no clue how Foster and Mir will get along and I wouldn’t want to find out. And she’ll have all of her resources in her book or on the computer. Unless you want to wait until tomorrow?”

Carly eyes AJ carefully before she answers. Finally he can’t take it any more. “What?”

“I need you to take your parents out for drinks. Port Charles Grille in fact. Maybe even make sure there is a banquet room set aside.”

“My parents?”

“I need you to talk sense into your mother. What an asset Li is going to be to the family. How much Michael already loves her.”

Emily nods and starts adding things to the list. “How important family is to her. How much she and Jason have in common– because of the church.”

Carly continues. “How much more cooperative a daughter in law she would be than the bitch on wheels she has now. Saying that Li is going to bring Jason back to the Quartermaine fold....”

“That would be pushing it.” Em suggests. “But not accepting Li would make things so much more difficult.”

“You guys seem to have this one down. Why don’t the two of you talk to Mom and Dad?”

“Baby, I’m only going to talk to your mother if you fail.” Carly grins. “Then it’s going to be your poor father at the wedding grieving losing his wife so close to gaining a daughter.”

AJ sighs. It’s a good thing he knows Carly is kidding. “Fine I’ll do it. But if you really want this to work... I’m taking Michael.”